Mom

My mother has been diagnosed with Cancer.


 She had been having abdominal pain for about 6 weeks when she finally went to the doctor. A CT was obtained with that fateful call on Friday afternoon with the news that it looks like widespread cancer in her abdomen. The following Friday was her appointment with the Gynecology Oncologist - the most experienced of only 6 in the state of Nebraska with this specialized title. He said "it's not an emergency, but we are going to get you scheduled for surgery next week." She was scheduled for Wednesday, just 1.5 weeks after that CT scan was performed. That was 2 days ago.

 It's Friday night now. I've been with my mother in the hospital since her surgery with Dr. Morris Wednesday afternoon. He is a good doctor. She has had a rough go of it, with extreme pain in post-op recovery, requiring large doses of narcotics. She was in recovery for almost 3 hours before getting to the floor, and it was only there that she was able to get some rest. Her hospital course has been complicated with severe gas pain, nausea, vomiting, near fainting, and low O2 levels. She was initially doing better, but has declined throughout today, vomiting 3-4 x today with little to no intake of food and water. She is back on IV fluids and meds and as an ileus.

 Her cancer is described in the CT as omental caking, and widespread peritoneal carcinomatosis. It was thought that she likely had ovarian cancer, but during surgery when the ovaries were visualized, they were essentially unaffected. This is most likely a primary peritoneal carcinoma, biopsies pending. He took out the fallopian tubes, ovaries, the omentum, and as much of the remaining tumor as possible. He removed 90-95% of the tumor burden. She is without mets to other organs such as spleen, liver, etc. It seems to all be contained in the abdominal cavity. Even so, this nasty disease sneaks up on a person and by the time they have any symptoms, it is advanced.

 The doctor says this is not ovarian cancer, but an "ovarian type of cancer," usually more amenable to chemotherapy. This is good news, but I have yet to know what the outcome/survival rates are. I have been too chicken to ask. Work has been very kind to me, rescheduling all my patients and letting me be gone during this challenging time. My focus and ability to concentrate is definitely affected, so I am glad I am not seeing patients at the moment. I'm sitting on a chair, next to mom's hospital bed, using her heating pad to warm my legs that are next to hers in bed. She woke up vomiting about 30 min ago, desperate to sit up immediately. She generally feels miserable with a distended abdomen, incisional pain, gas pain, shoulder pain, back pain, and this relentless nausea. She grabs her vomit sack (as I call it) and moans. I've never seen her so sick. She tells me she has never been so sick. Its so hard to see someone you love so miserable. This has been so stressful, not only for me, but for her as well.

 It's Sunday morning now. They had to put an NG tube to decompress the stomach last night. They got 1400cc out immediately! (Imagine that much fluid just sitting in your abdomen for days) Her abdominal distention is going down, and she hasn't had to vomit all night, and has been able to get some rest. Initially, we thought we would probably be going home yesterday or today, but it will more likely be Monday if all goes well with this ileus. She has had some good bowel sounds today, so we are hopeful.

Reflections

Late Posting written in Jan 2017 As I sit here on a Friday evening by my heater after all this week of business, I'm feeling reflective and reminiscent. Drew and I have been back to the states now for almost 9 months after living overseas in Mozambique. Drew and I are both working, and the time has flown past. Somehow I have gotten sucked into this busy lifestyle. We are always doing something, always going somewhere, meeting someone, running this or that errand, working on something. Americans are so independent. we have touted this to be a good thing - to be self reliant. In some ways it is. Also, in some ways it is not. Today I am missing Africa. I miss walking down the road and seeing little groups of people talking to each other, genuinely enjoying simply spending time with each other. Cheerful, laughing, and always welcoming a new person to chat. The simplicity of life, the lack of distractions, the beauty of such a social culture and the happiness that it brings - this is what I am missing today. When I stand back and watch the social interactions of plenty of Americans, they almost never seem so free. It seems every conversation has to have a specific purpose, and once that purpose is fulfilled, it's over. Everyone has a plan, an agenda that they must stick to because they are busy. If it so happens they are not busy, they either want to appear busy, or not interrupt someone else who might be busy. Busy people are perceived as important. People who are not busy are viewed as lazy. I know this does not apply to everyone, it's just my general observation. As a result, people are not as happy. It is evident on the faces of so many I see. People are more socially isolated, claiming they "don't have time" to spend with family or friends, and often feel they would be an intrusion on other people's time. Time is precious here, and Americans want to be more and more time efficient. I find myself thinking this way as well! How many things can I pack into this time that I have? How productive can I be during this free moment. I still had a drive to be productive and efficient while in Mozambique, but Africa has this way of rubbing off on you, and I feel myself missing the times I threw efficiency and productivity to the wind (mostly because it was impossible to obtain) to visit with friends, go to the beach, play some games, or just relax on the roof of our house. Today when I left the house to go to work it was 1 degree F outside. It had snowed for the last day and a half, bringing us a couple of inches and some slick roads. It's the kind of cold that gets into your core and makes you chilly all day. Wind chill was -11, and things become frozen solid very quickly outside. Today just happened to be the day that one of my friends in Mozambique posted a short clip of the Mozambican beach on a perfect day - the sun, the beautiful blue water gently lapping on the shore, a boat gently rocking, a thatch roof on the shore across the way. Ahhh.... This may have inspired some of the missing of Mozambique as well. I especially yearn for the beach in weather like we are having now. It seems like this weekend would be the perfect time to slip away for a little sun, white sand, and clear blue water. This past year has been a year of change for Drew and I. We had to close up a project in Mozambique that was dear to our hearts and it was painful. We moved from sea level with extreme humidity, to >5000ft elevation with little to no humidity. We went from living in the bush to living in suburbia, from a place with limited resources, to one of limitless shopping and every convenience. This time last year was when we were starting to see the real effects of the drought on our vegetable farm with extreme heat, scorched crops, and our irrigation supply of water becoming very low and brackish. It was a time of turmoil, prayer, and searching. After our course of action was made clear (Thank You God!), we then set forth on the exit strategy. This proved quite difficult. We sold all our things, packed up all the farm equipment and sold/donated to a farm up north that was in need and the drought was not as bad. We left our 1st home as a married couple and our friends who had become so dear. We came to Denver as it seemed that God closed one door and opened another, in perfect timing. Drew stepped immediately into work the day he arrived in Denver, as the company had been anxiously awaiting his arrival. This left little time for re-adjustment to American culture, barely enough time to recover from jet lag. It seems we have just gotten swept up in everything and haven't had time to reflect. To most people here, it is as Mozambique never happened. If it ever comes up in conversation, the other party often does not know what to do with this information. No questions asked, no interest, the subject is dropped. I think it is because it is such a foreign concept - living in Africa - that people just cannot relate at all. They can ask you all kinds of questions if you saw the last football game, or ate at the same restaurant, but starting a company in a third world, Portuguese speaking country... it's too strange. This phenomenon makes me sad. I think I would adjust better to living in America again if I could talk about Africa. Like therapy! Praise the Lord for my husband. We talk about Mozambique all the time, and it's been good for us. We are both missing Mozambique right about now, not just the beaches, but the people/culture/experience/purpose. On a more upbeat note, I am really enjoying working as a PA again. This work is very fulfilling to me. I love explaining complex medical diagnosis/treatment in an easy way for patient's to understand. And it is incredibly refreshing to be back in a hospital setting. I am always looking forward to seeing the next patient and find myself smiling as I walk through the halls of the hospital.